ArcaMax

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I live on a private lane of just five houses, each with large surrounding fields. After mowing my (perfectly dry) field, I went over to my neighbors' to perform a courtesy mow of theirs, as they both work full-time.

On the second turn, my full-size tractor sank deep into the mud, and any attempt at freeing it merely dug it in...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A dear friend and I live several hours away from each other, so to keep in touch, we speak often on the telephone. He works part-time, so he usually calls me on his off days when his wife is home. This is the problem.

If she happens to be nearby when we are speaking, she will frequently interrupt to either ask him what we are...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I acknowledge that a person should not be hosting their own birthday parties. However, if I had to wait until I could afford to take everyone out to dinner to invite them out for a good time, we'd never go.

Dining out has become outrageously expensive. I rarely go with even just my family. Expecting one person to pay for ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Back in February, I inquired about a job opening for the summer. I was invited to have an interview with my potential employer, whereupon we had a great conversation and he expressed interest in hiring me.

However, his season began before I was finished with college. He suggested that I keep in touch and that he would get ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Years ago, a close friend of mine was getting married. As I am known as a good baker among my friends, she asked if I would bake her a carrot cake for her wedding. I demurred, explaining that I was not qualified to bake a wedding cake. She insisted, saying it would be a small wedding with perhaps 20 guests.

Instead, the ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was a single mom in my 40s with a preteen child. After eight years of not dating, I met a man through my CB radio community whom I took a good liking to.

We spent eight months getting to know each other and he never hinted that he was homeless, nor that he had learning disabilities. He lived across the country and never ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Six of us were at dinner in a nice restaurant. At a nearby table for two sat a man and a woman, who appeared to be grownups, rather than teenagers in their first relationships.

During this couple's nice dinner out, their mutual attraction apparently got the better of them. The man had his hand COMPLETELY up the woman's skirt ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A neighbor of ours would repeatedly ask my wife and me to watch his house, feed his fish and water his plants (inside and outside) when he was away. And the requests keep getting bigger: collect his mail, watch out for a UPS package, water his tomatoes.

In the latest episode, he stated that he would give us the keys at 7:30 ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Help! The summer concert season will soon be here in full force, and many musical groups have outdoor performances planned. At many such events in the past, people seated near me have talked throughout the concert. Do they really think that I enjoy hearing them talk through the musical numbers?

Once, a group of six people ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My fiance and I were spending time with an old, close, female friend of his. He noticed she was cold and offered his jacket to her. She wore his jacket for the rest of the evening.

He's a kind, faithful man who always looks out for others, and I know his intentions were noble; he truly just wanted to help his friend when he ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am sufficiently old-school that I will sometimes answer a phone call from an unfamiliar number for which no caller ID is displayed, rather than letting it go to voicemail.

If I say hello, and the caller asks to speak to (name), is it rude of me to reply by asking, "Who is calling, please?" Also, does it matter whether the ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My mother-in-law recently returned from New Zealand bearing gifts for her children and their spouses. Each gift was very well-thought-out and personalized.

However, when she got to me, she claimed she'd forgotten my gift in her car and left the house for several minutes, presumably to retrieve it. When she returned, she ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: At a restaurant, is there a way to ask to be served by a waiter or waitress other than the one assigned to our table?

My wife and I have patronized a local establishment for several years, but have sometimes been served by a waitress who, on her best days, is unfriendly, indifferent, unwelcoming and forgetful about our orders...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When I am with someone in person, I think it is rude to answer the phone (the message being that the caller is more important than our conversation). A friend claims that she only intends to pick up and say she will call them back.

But sometimes there is an exchange, and I am sitting there waiting till she finishes. I always ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I hosted a small birthday party for my husband at a restaurant. Our guests were a couple and a single man. The couple asked if we wanted to order a number of small plates, meant for sharing. The rest of us preferred to order our own entrees.

The couple then proceeded to order quite a few of the small plates, asking us if we ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A teacher I have worked with for the last 13 years is retiring at the end of the school year. Teachers have been asked to submit a 4x6 card with a message to her for an album. She will most likely be having a retirement party as well.

She has treated me very meanly over the years. She is capable of being very nice one minute,...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Every morning, I pick up my son's neighborhood friend and drive them both to school on my way to work. My son's friend is an exemplary young man -- polite and respectful in all ways except one.

He eats his breakfast in my backseat each morning -- unfortunately, in a way that allows us to hear his chewing and smacking of lips,...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I heard this anecdote in college and a couple of times in the years since then: An applicant goes to a job interview. There is a piece of crumpled paper on the floor of the interviewer's office, not far from a trash can. This a test: Anyone who doesn't stop to pick up the trash and dispose of it will not be hired because they ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: During the weekends, my partner and I will be out in the yard, toiling away at various landscaping and home improvement projects, and sometimes our neighbors are out doing the same.

I have no issues with any of our neighbors, but here's where my partner and I disagree: He will go over to the fence and have a lengthy chat with...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: After two hours at a restaurant with a group of friends, everyone had eaten, the check had been settled, yet no one left. We stayed at the table for another 30 minutes, chatting away.

The restaurant was not busy and no one was waiting for a table. But I can't help but think that we lingered far too long.

Sure, a restaurant ...Read more