Husband Gambles Away Down Payment On Sports
DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I have been saving for a house, but I figured out last week that he is addicted to sports betting and that a lot of our savings has been feeding his addiction. I was completely blindsided by this discovery; I genuinely had no idea how serious the situation had become. Over the past year, we had been talking constantly about our future, looking at neighborhoods we liked, discussing what kind of home we wanted and carefully budgeting so we could finally afford a down payment. I thought we were both equally committed to this goal.
I discovered the truth only after noticing several unusual withdrawals from our savings account that did not make sense to me. At first, my husband brushed them off as random expenses or transfers, but something felt off. Eventually, after I pushed harder for answers, he admitted that he had been betting on sports almost every day and that what started out as "just for fun" had spiraled into something much more serious. He confessed that he has lost thousands of dollars over the last year trying to win back money he had already lost. How do I support my husband without enabling him, and how do I know if this marriage is still financially and emotionally safe for me? -- Gambler
DEAR GAMBLER: First, if it's possible, move whatever funds you have left into an account that he cannot touch. If you can't do it on your own, ask him to go to the bank and do it with you to protect your money from his addiction. Next, pressure him to go to therapy. Gambling is an addiction that is bigger than either of you. He needs help to work through it and to learn how to control his behavior. You will have to decide whether you can live with him and his addiction as it is not likely to go away.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I've been working for a company for the past three years without pay, with the promise that I'll become a vested shareholder in year five. When I began, it felt like a worthwhile risk. I genuinely believe in my boss and the brand trajectory. But now that I'm deeper into it, I'm starting to question whether I made a smart decision or whether I was being overly optimistic. I've sacrificed a lot financially to stay committed, and while I want to trust that it will pay off in the long run, anything can happen between today and year five. Part of me feels loyal and hopeful, but another part wonders if I've undervalued my time and skills by working for the promise of future compensation instead of actual income.
I am trying to assess whether this opportunity is worth continuing, but I'm torn between feeling like I shouldn't waste any more time and feeling like the three years of work I've already put in deserve to see some return on investment. How do I weigh these odds and my future? -- Measure Up
DEAR MEASURE UP: What kind of paperwork do you have that proves the guarantee offered to you? What happens if the company isn't able to compensate you in year five? Is there a contingency plan built in? Talk to the owners frankly and ask for an understanding of return on investment so that you can be clear about the future. Listen carefully and take action based on what you hear and what your gut tells you.
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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2026, Harriette Cole
COPYRIGHT 2026 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.
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